On the flip side, if I was ill I was allowed to eat junk; if I was sad I was allowed to eat junk; if I was happy I was allowed to celebrate with junk .

As a result I grew up watching my Mum starve herself in pursuit of the perfect body, while I was comforted and rewarded with food. Guess how that turned out?

My Mum is frustrated that I won’t diet, and I can’t tell her that I’d rather be fat than live like she does. Except that I do live like her. In front of other people I eat salad and soup and avoid sweets, but when I feel sad or ill or tired, then I smuggle certain foods into my room and gorge.

@Rosemary, starving yourself is the other side of this kind of compulsive behavior. My younger sister is anorexic, and even when she is ‘healthy’, she is constantly sending me details of diets such as the one that you recommend. You are trying to be helpful, but as soon as you think that starving yourself as a form of weight control then you are in trouble.

I don’t agree with diets or food deprivation, they don’t work in the long term, in fact I think they make it worse because they make you focus and obsess about food more.

I am similar, I have been a compulsive eater my whole life and depressed off and on for most of my life too. I’m totally with you on the “fat suit”, I always saw myself as this small insignificant person in a massive body – I’m 5′ 8 too. I am trying at the moment to accept my fat (having just read FIFI) and who I am now. Haven’t managed to tackle the eating bit yet though… It’s an emotional pandora’s box.

In an earlier post you mentioned setting up a support group in London, did you manage to do that? I would be very keen to join/set one up if you are interested.

I’ve just signed up for graze.com because they can send you bits of healthy food through the post which I think would help with both things, and then on some days food will turn up without me having to go out.

The code ZMTNC6G means you get a free box as a trial, and your second one for £1.50 if you want a look.

Take care everyone xo

I consider myself fat positive – that is I believe people can be healthy at any size and that fat does not automatically mean ugly, unfit or unhealthy. At over seventeen stone I am squarely inside the ‘obese’ category and I have no desire to lose weight.

I do however want to eat better; I have started paying attention and realising that what I eat can have a massive impact on my mood and energy levels. I am a compulsive eater; I ‘eat to keep my teeth busy’ as my partner puts it. As a vegetarian, and because I am feeding not just myself but my young son, my diet overall is fairly healthy.

But in between healthy meals I find myself eating rubbish just for the sake of it; I get hungry very quickly after meals and I am sure I misinterpret thirst and other body needs as hunger signals because I am so used to food as comfort, food as a solution to pretty much all of life’s problems, never paying attention to how it makes me feel a few hours later.

My problem, I think, is that I forget what food is meant to be – fuel for my body. That isn’t to say it shouldn’t be pleasurable fuel, but its purpose is still to nourish and replenish the body’s nutrients. Too often I eat when I know I’m not hungry, because depression or boredom make me crave sugar or carbohydrates.

I think it’s a brave thing to write about here; so many people have told me “so just stop doing it” like it was such an easy thing to do. Those of us who overeat are often dismissed as lazy, greedy, with no self-control. I am glad to read it’s not just me, and that maybe with the right support we might improve our relationships with food.